Obama slumping in August?
You know how it is: first the player is on a hitting streak, stealing bases, scoring, making great plays. Then he gets cold, can’t connect, drops the ball, and in general slumps worse than Bill Clinton’s slick willie after sex.
That’s kinda how it’s been for Barack Obama.
Since getting back from his World Tour, he hasn’t really been up to true form. Part of it isn’t his fault: the sheep that call themselves the American people are buying in the McCain Machine’s propaganda a la Karl Fuck-The-Constitution Rove that Obama is a vapid superstar, someone closer to Britney Spears and Paris Hilton than that statesman he’s trying to come across as.
This pissed even Paris off. She replied brilliantly in a parody ad on the Internet—never thought I’d be calling anything by Paris Hilton brilliant, and as I type this I gotta wonder if two or more of the Four Horsemen have ridden into town, but you gotta give credit where credit is due.
Britney would have responded too, but she was busy trying to figure out where she left her kids when she ran out to buy cigarettes and whiskey.
But the stupes that are Americans seem to be buying into the Repiglican propaganda. They’d rather have a stupid, out-of-touch, emotionally-volatile loose cannon than someone who at least is sane.
But Obama hasn’t exactly made it easy for himself lately either.
First there was a series of flip-flops that give the Rovites plenty of ammunition if they want to brand Obama as the second coming of John Kerry. First Obie-Wan changing his position on domestic wire-tapping. Then oil-drilling. Then opening up the national petroleum reserve. Then offering a “gas rebate” to drivers. What next, is Barack going to start sporting a swollen neck too?
Will he begin injecting “My friends, my friends” into every sentence?
Will he tell Michelle to start popping pills?
Now comes the topper: the Obama troops got this brilliant idea to run TV advertisements on the subject of alternative energy, starting today, on Gas Station TV. Before you say “I don’t get that on my cable package,” Gas Station TV is a network of televisions in gas pumps in Florida. The TVs are actually on top of the gas pumps. Because we all don’t watch enough TV already.
The idea apparently was, you’d pull into your local Kuwaiti-Mart, start to fill up using the cash you’d set aside for the kids’ college fund, and while you were doing this, Obie’s picture would pop up on a little TV on your gas pump and start talking about his alternative energy ideas. All this is assuming you’re still standing there and didn’t go inside for some Ring Dings.
Now, I’m not against the idea that Obama lecture us a little on how we should kick the oil habit. I don’t like the way the Middle East has our nuts in a cinch over energy and we keep bellying up to the bar and saying “Thank you sir, may I have another?”
But for the Obama camp to be surprised that—wait for it—the Gas Station TV people don’t want to carry these anti-oil spots…well, as the line from Casablanca goes, I am shocked, shocked! Gambling in this establishment!
“Once again, the oil companies and their friends are standing with Senator McCain, the candidate for president who is proposing to offer them a $4 billion tax cut,” Obama’s Florida Communications Director Mark Bubriski said today. “It looks like Gas Station TV doesn’t want the American people to know about Senator Obama’s plan to offer working families a $1,000 energy rebate that would be funded by a tax on oil company profits. The oil companies have taken sides in this race, and they are standing with John McCain…”
Whether you think, as the Obammies claim, that Gas Station TV originally okayed the spots and then bowed to pressure from the oil companies, or you believe the official line, which is GSTV just doesn’t want to do political advertising, period, the point is that Obama’s people would actually be surprised at this outcome.
Such innocence makes them look like a bunch of amateurs.
Until recently, it seemed as though his campaign was being handled by very suave, sophisticated people. “Experience,” one of McKook’s big selling points, didn’t seem to be much of an issue, as Obama’s effort was running smoothly and the Straight-Talk Express seemed to be stuck in first gear despite the lengthy service record of the driver. Well, lately Obama looks almost as confused and directionless as his Republican rival. He’s gone out of his way to demonstrate that when the going gets tough, the Man for Change buckles. He seems to be the one lately who doesn’t believe in the change he advocated.
At least he doesn’t have that creepy, undead smile. Yet.
It’s truly amazing, considering how brilliantly Obama defeated the determined and fierce Hillary Clinton. For so long, he seemed invincible, unstoppable. Even those who didn’t necessarily like him admitted he was running a near faultless campaign. Obstacles that might have stopped lesser mortals—the Pastor Wright scandal comes quickest to mind—were hurdled with astonishing ease. Hey, if he can deal with all this on the campaign trail, he just might ace the job, no matter how thin the resume. (Hey, maybe he could get Penelope Trunk to write a new one for him.)
Now, with only 90 days to go before we dangle our chads, there’s little room left for error. As the saying goes in chess, the winner is the one who makes the second to last mistake. Obama really can’t start screwing the pooch at this point. He’d better get his groove back. Or Hillary is going to look awfully smart in 2012.