“Hi, y’all, my name’s Levi, and I’m a redneck”

Hey there!  I’m the dude that done knocked up Bristol Spears Palin.  And she wuz a good lay too.  She din’ just lie their quietly, no.  She made noise an’ thrust her legs in tha air. That way I knowd she enjoyed it.  Me and her gonna get married now.  That way I’ll be First Son In Law.  Ya see, when John McCayne done see what he done, he gonna start feelin’ chest pains and so Sarah Palin will be just a heartbeat away from the Ovil Office.  Then after she become presdent, Bristol be First Daughter.  Ain’t that cool.  That means a redneck hockey player like me gonna be living in the White House soon!  Now, some of ya liberal elitists who went to school an’ all may object, but hey, what’s better, plain folks like us or a n*gger guy in a turban?  I think ya’ll get my drift, don’t ya.  Sure, the kid’s gonna be a drag, cuz I don’t want ’em, but we can just get a hispanic nanny or somethin’ like them liberal elites in Hollywood like Michael Moore an’ Bonnie Raitt all has.  Now ya’ll ‘xcuse me, I gotta go shoot some squirrels wid Joey Buttafuoco an’ Tanya Harding.

Me scorin,' just like I done wid Bristol

Me scorin, just like I done wid Bristol.

Thar's the perdy mother-ta-be

Thar's the perdy momma-to-be.

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