I’m sure glad Republicans are in charge…

Imaging how big the newly-announced $407 billion dollar federal deficit would be if the tax-‘N’-spend Dems were running the show.

You know, those awful wanky wanks who left office in 2000 with a surplus gave us double-digit Jimmy Carter inflation that really started with Richard Nixon’s inflationary monetary policies and continued when Jerry “Do-Nothing” Ford dealt with the situation with his “WIN” buttons.  (Some of you kiddies are no doubt too young to remember WIN buttons.  Actually, a lot of you kiddies are too young [and uneducated] to remember or know about much of anything beyond the Madonna-Britney MTV kiss, which is partly why we’re so fucked as a country.)

So yes, they’re saying on Capitol Hill this morning that the federal government will run a near-record deficit of $407 billion this year.

The red river of deficit ink will keep flowing as John McKook and Sarah P pound the table calling for more efficient government, the cutting of waste and the end of pork-barrel politics—all of which have been hallmarks of their own careers all along.

Next year the Congressional Budget Office admits, with a paper bag over its head, that the deficit would reach a record $438 billion — and that’s not even counting the government takeover of mortgage giants Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac—you know, those entities that were deregulated largely on the back of Phil “There’s No Recession and You’re All Whiny Wimps” Gramm and which was taken over by the feds (read, taxpayers, read, YOU) literally in the middle of the night on a weekend so that it would be utterly ignored in the news cycle.  It worked, too.  You heard more the next day about Britney hosting the VMAs than you did the largest government bailout—and thus the largest tax hike—in history.  Since the S&L crisis, at least.  Most people today probably don’t even remember the S&L crisis, or which presidential son turned up in the middle of it.  Or which presidential candidate.  After all, 20 years ago is ancient history and I’ll bet more than 50 percent of today’s voters think S&L is a late night TV comedy show out of New York.

The worsening deficit is largely due to continuing weakness in the economy, high energy and food prices, and the slump in the housing and financial markets, the CBO said.

But they saved their most hysterical line for last:

“And the economy could still slide into a recession.”

You mean we’re not having one yet??  Again, phew, imagine how bad things would be if Democrats were in charge.  The stock market would probably be down 20 percent this year (wait—whoops!), because we all know they suck when it comes to the economy.

"Whoops!"

"Whoops"

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