John McCain for president…

You read that right.

I’m endorsing John McCain and Sarah Palin on November 4th.  Not that anyone’s asked me, but I am.

Why?  I want to see these two morons get all the power they can.  I want them to run the country into the ground with it.  They, and the rest of the Repuglican “base,” will destroy America faster than Al Qaeda or Osama bin Laden or the Taliban could ever dream.  I’m sure if McCain wins, and I think he will, Osama will do a victory dance in his cave.

And I want all those conservative nutjobs, the “family values” voters in the midwest whose values consist of twisting the words of the Bible and burning Obamas in effigy, to twist as their jobs go away and their wages shrink and their houses go on the block.  As infrastructure crumbles so that their pickups cause overpasses that haven’t been tended to in 40 years to collapse, spilling their beer and smashing their Garth Brooks CDs.  Give them, not bread and circuses, but guns and Bill O’Reilly.  Religion (Christianity, of course; there is no other religion) and Ann Coulter.  Cut education, social services and infrastructure.  But above all, “CUT MY TAXES, CUZ I DON’T WANNA SUPPORT NO WELFARE N*GGERS WHO REPRESENT SOMETHING LIKE 0.2% OF OUR BUDGETARY EXPENDATURES!” *

Oh, and above all, keep piling on those deficits, because one trillion dollars isn’t enough and there are still lots of enemies out there, ready to destroy our median-quality way of life.  (I guess they’re not interested in destroying the hgher-caliber way of life that many European and Asian countries are currently enjoying.)  We still have Iran, Syria and maybe Madagascar to invade.  Funny how we’re tip-toeing around our biggest real threats, North Korea and Russia, but hey, can’t provoke a real enemy.  The appearance to the rest of the world is what’s important.  Not that that part’s going particularly well.

I won’t even get into Abu Graib and Guantanamo.  I don’t have that much time, nor the stomach for it, frankly.

The Democrats are also leading us down the road to ruin, but they are much slower about it.  They stupidly do the right thing every so often and prolong the agony of slow death.  The Republicans are killing America much more quickly, erasing our liberties, destroying our infrastructure and education, squeezing our wealth, obliterating our natural resources and brainwashing our citizens much more quickly than the Democrats do.  I don’t get the Dems’ game really.  They seem to be also-rans and luke-warms on almost everything.  They rarely are entrusted with power, but when they are, they do nothing with it.  They compromise, “cross the aisle,” and try to “make friends” with an enemy that is less merciful than the nineteen September 11th hijackers.

There are two kinds of people you trust with power: those who how to use it wisely for the good of everyone here, and those who are so opposite that they destroy everything quickly so that the process of rebuilding can begin again anew.  Nobody in the U.S. falls into the first camp—at least no one will a real shot at power.  That leaves the second category.  And the Republicans fit the bill there splendedly.

So let’s have a year or two of John.  And then the remainder of the term with Sarah.  It makes me think of what doctors tell you, “It’ll hurt, but it will be over quickly.”  Then what will the neokooks, say?  We’re still suffering from the “years of neglect” under the Clinton administration?  We “can’t get anything done” because there are Democrats in Congress?  They’ll find something, surely, while simultaneously calling everyone else “whiners.”

I just wish the European Union would accept Americans as political refugees, the same way we did for them during the dark days of the Nazis and fascism.  I think it would be fair play.

* The much larger percentage represented by corporate welfare is okay, however.  —Do you want the U.S. system of free markets to collapse, you communist?!?


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